Donations...I do want to donate...why I haven't yet...

[P.C.Zen]

Why I've not yet donated...

I have a form of depression that prevents me from working and I'm in close to 10k of credit card debt that I'm trying to pay off with my state, disability sick pay...and eBay.

I live with my mother who's basically my carer and she takes care of the bills and food shopping, leaving me free to shovel all of my cash onto the "tyre fire" that's my credit card debt.

I even had to sell my RTX 2070 and am currently gaming with a GTX 970 (I know: the above's bad, but the GTX 970's a disaster.)

My goal is to get my credit card fully paid off by the end of 2021. When I'm about half way there (sometime in Q2 2021) I would have reduced my credit card interest to the point where I can start donating.

I do fully intend to and do want to donate, because I'm very grateful for this stuff, I just don't have the cash to do so right at this moment.

I'm not asking for charity, just that people give me a pass on donations until about Q2 2021. I will sort you guys out with some cash for the work that's been done; I just don't have it at the moment.

One of the symptoms of my depression is anhedonia which is basically the inability to feel pleasure or enjoyment in fun activities. That includes gaming, but 3D makes this stuff come alive for me in ways that make it so that I can enjoy games like I remember enjoying them when I was a child, before my condition worsened. I'm extremely grateful for this stuff and just ask that you guys hang in there, because I will sort you out with donations as soon as I can.

If you're reading this and you use this stuff and you enjoy it and you've not donated. Please show your appreciation by donating. I'm not asking you to donate on my behalf because I'm going to be personally donating as soon as I can. I just urge you to show your appreciation and donate. If you don't donate, you're just taking advantage of the people who love this stuff enough to do the work, and that's just not fair and not cool.

[Losti]

I really appreciate reporting about it so openly here. I think that many are not in this situation and could donate but do not. Nevertheless, everyone can enjoy the 3D fixes, whether they donate or not. A post like THANK YOU instead of a post that is only made to report a problem and then not let anything be heard is also welcome to show appreciation. Wishing you all the best! We all have our problems so coping with it is not easy and everyone does it in their own way. If 3D gaming helps you but you can't donate, enjoy it. I wish you all the best, please have no bad conscience. Everything provided here is FREE! But again: I really appreciate your efforts to donate. Your post still shows me your appreciation, that's enough. Everyone should do this as much as possible. You don't have to justify yourself, but thank you for your sincerity "!

[Shift-E]

This reminds me of why I joined this community to begin with. I had only just recently discovered 3D gaming and was still learning how everything worked etc (it can be intimidating in the beginning). I had started using some fixes for games and felt guilty I was not in position to donate much back then, especially because the amount of enjoyment I was getting from these games in 3D!

But there was a greeting thread on the old forum for new members, and Bo3b I think had a really good post basically saying don't worry if you can't donate. Instead just join and contribute to the community, help fellow newcomers, and a simple thank you can go a long way to shaderhackers. Shout out ot Bo3b!

I do not post elsewhere really, but his message really made sense...and I should not be a lurker here if I am passionate about this niche hobby. So I joined up and have been posting regularly ever since. I am now a little better off financially than I was then, so I donate as I can. But there are other ways to show your appreciation, just keep posting, can help test WIP fixes, and always give a thank you or helpful feedback for any fix you use!

[Necropants]

For the longest time in this community there was a substantial push by many prominent shader hackers to actively discourage donations, many felt it would create a bad precident and would prefer people made the effrot to learn the "art" themselves. I can see both sides, and I do donate when I can. But the bottom line is you probably shouldn't feel guilty about this especially if you have a bad financial situation. Show your appreciation by contributing in any way you can and this doesn't always mean money...

[masterotaku]

Donations are optional, as the meaning of the word implies. No one has to give you a pass because there is no pass.

You are in debt and depressed. You should be working on completely clearing that debt before thinking about donating.

That's my opinion at least. I appreciate donations because it helps me buy more games to fix, but I wouldn't feel good getting money from someone in a poor economic situation. Just have fun with the games and try to improve your health.

[P.C.Zen]

I really appreciate reporting about it so openly here...

This reminds me of why I joined this community to begin with...

For the longest time in this community there was a substantial push by many prominent shader hackers to actively discourage donations, many felt it would create a bad precident and would prefer people made the effrot to learn the "art" themselves...

Donations are optional, as the meaning of the word implies. No one has to give you a pass because there is no pass...

Thanks so much for responding in such a positive (and understanding) way; it's truly appreciated.

I do want to contribute, even non-financially and I've tried to a bit, with trying to get the forum re-organised and stuff like that, but I feel like I ended up doing more harm than good: it seems, on my good days, my desire and enthusiasm unfortunately exceed my capabilities. It's something I'm always running up against. That's not me being pessimistic, it's just me being realistic; it's something I've had to learn: not to run off chasing quixotic dreams.

I'll try and do what I can re. helping others on the forum and staying up to date with how to keep the tech & software working so that I can help keep the information circulating. Having said that I do still want to donate financially but, as I wrote above, it might not be for a while. But yeah, donating is something I'd like to do.

As for learning how to shader hack, I'd love to be able to do it, but with my condition, I've reached the conclusion that trying to teach me would just be a waste of people's time, because my mood's been up and down a lot recently and I'm a bit of a bad bet in that respect. It's just how it is with me; I've not been able to stick with anything in life...

...I was talking to Losti about maybe learning how to shader hack, because I just didn't want 3D Vision to die...but I think that was motivated more by desperation than a belief that it's something I'd actually be capable of.

But yeah, @Losti I can be pretty open about this stuff...it's easy for me, I've had a ton of therapy so I'm really used to it. It's a bit like talking about what I had for breakfast. lol

Anyway, I didn't mean to make people feel like they're wrong for not contributing; I'm sorry if that's how I came across, I wasn't trying to shame anyone, it was just a reflection of how I'm feeling about not yet having donated funds myself. Beyond that, I really just meant to say: if you can, then do...?

But yeah, my mood is up and down like a yoyo, to the extent and severity that it's like I'm two different people, so I don't want to waste peoples' time trying to learn this stuff...plus I'd almost definitely want to convert Bonetown, so yeah...

But joking aside; thanks again for you guys' responses and your understanding. I'll keep troubleshooting my setup and keep posting (and probably answering my own) noob questions, and try my best to help others. I'll do what I can when I can, although the problem with that is that I'm probably the least skilled here (but you know what they say in terms of personal growth: "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room").

P.S. Almost forgot. I do intend to donate financially at some point, but I also want to say a massive thank you to you guys for keeping this stuff going and in such a way that I can still be kept in the loop; I love 3D gaming and it's something that makes my life massively more interesting and massively more enjoyable. People might not say thank you, but they wouldn't keep coming back and jumping through all of the hoops they have to jump through to keep this stuff running on their systems if they didn't love it.